What Do You Need? (Stop Asking Me That!)

Men can be utterly useless when it comes to dealing with a woman’s emotional needs. As emotional creatures, there are times when a woman is feeling a little worse for wear. She could be sitting on the couch and crying. She could be tearing up after a movie or commercial. She could be getting frustrated over a project or recipe. A man’s initial reaction is to ask what is wrong.

If a woman is upset it doesn’t mean something is necessarily wrong. She could just be upset or emotional for no reason. Sometimes this just happens and instead of trying to fix it just be there. Ask her if she wants a hug. Ask her if there is anything she needs. “What do you need” shows that you recognize she is upset and you want to be there for her. You want to assist her and give her what she needs, even if that is only a hug. Physical touch can be an emotional comfort when someone is upset. Just allow your presence to be a comfort. Be her rock and let her ground herself in something solid and true. Let her calm down and release that emotion so she can move forward.

If you do want to talk to her about what is happening then don’t tune out. Men have a tendency to only half listen to a woman’s problems and women realize that. Women will go to their female friends for advice or to vent about their issues. Women have a natural mothering reaction when a friend is upset. A female friend will sit back and let her friend talk about her problems while she intently listens. She will calm her best friend down and give sound and solid advice and restore her friend back to normal. Women love talking to their friends about their problems because they understand, men don’t. This is fine though because if you see your partner is upset, just be there for her then allow her to talk it out with whomever she wants. If it’s you then make sure you truly listen otherwise let her talk to someone who will and just ask what she needs.

A man being present and asking what his partner needs allows the couple to strengthen their emotional connection and understand each other a little more. Men need to accept that they can not fix all their partner’s problems but they can be there for them. That’s all men need to know, be there for your women. Love her, hug her, and give her everything she needs.