Time to Clean Out the Closet

Turmoil. Fear. Anxiety attacks. Full on crying, sobbing sessions.
The last few months have been a test of my sanity. I know I always post motivational and inspirational quotes and try to have a positive attitude all of the time; but it’s not always easy to stay positive when life seems to slap you upside the face.

To me it seemed that everything was going wrong and it was all piling up in a big soggy mess in the closet. I wasn’t sure where to begin and I didn’t really want anyone to see it so I closed the door and tried to pretend it wasn’t there. The only thing is, when something else happened I would just open that door, shove it on top of the pile and slam the door shut again before any of it could fall out. It was starting to smell.

It was time for some spring cleaning.

But where was I to begin? In amongst the smelly money problems and anger and frustration at my old employer I had also thrown in a disgusting bitter taste toward a family member and to be honest there wasn’t a whole lot of bliss in the pile. It was bitter, angry, frustrated and there was nothing of the words I always speak of – forgiveness, love, passion, desire and bliss.

It was time for change.

But how does one manage to take such a sloppy, stinky mess and turn it into something beautiful? The only answer was to open that closet door, let the mess fall out and start cleaning it up. Not an easy process. The stench was hard to face and many times I have felt like shoving it all back in the closet again and closing the door; but I know that’s not going to get me anywhere. I need to start facing my demons.

I have discovered in life that whenever you start cleaning something up you always end up making more of a mess to start off with. But once you finally get to the stage where things are clean, it’s a beautiful thing.